Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Signs you might be a racist prick.

Ever sat there and wondered if you're a racist prick?

Take the self-test and find out. Give yourself a point for each yes (be honest now.)

1: Have you ever used the phrase "Maori shower" and thought you were being super funny and clever?

2: Do you downright refuse to spell or pronounced Maori or foreign place names properly?

3: You think Maori TV is just for Mowris.

4: You think saying "Mowri" is correct.

5: You think Paul Henry is hilarious and Michael Laws is your hero.

6: You think you can't be racist because some of your best friends/neighbours/cousins are Maori/P.I/Asian whatever.

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions you are at the very least ignorant and must seek knowledge immediately.

If you answered yes to two or more you are a racist prick and must seek knowledge immediately.


  1. Its an interesting space. The majority of my workplace are brown and so our colloquial language is very much in favour of identifying racial differences, takingthe piss out of each other and ourselves. IN any other work place or even social scene it would be very uncomfortable but at my work its all good to say "hell no I am too whitebred for that" (i.e. living in Highbury) or calling the coconut card when it comes to claiming heritage traits such as the food someone likes to eat, but pulling the white heritage traits when it comes to athletic or singing abilities in the case of a woman who is Rarotongan and Pakeha. Does that make all of us racist? To be fair there is NO WAY any of us would speak to people outside of the workplace they way that we do, but it creates real rapport and equality within our workplace culture. Hrrrmmmmmmmmmm (Chur, Hannah)

  2. Kia Ora Hannah, thanks for the comment. Yeah I do know what you mean- I've got mates that call themselves fobs or whatever- although I myself wouldn't call them a fob. If they want to reclaim the word and use it then all good- but I don't use it. I think it's one thing to have a joke with your mates- if they initiate that way of soeaking- but it's another to think it's okay to use (for example) the phrase 'Maori shower' in conversation which implies definate negative connotations towards a racial/ethnic group. The intent is the problem. I've heard that particular phrase uttered a few times in my life in general conversation and I find it offensive. Although as I was a teen at the time I struggled with whether or not I made that clear, on the one of two occassions I did let it be known I didn't find it amusing I pretty much just got laughed at. Pretty shitty for a 15 year old in an all-European girls boarding school to have to put up with.

  3. I guess our context at work is permissive for this shared language. The rules are laid out. We can share jokes about bodies/race traits, but theres no negative stuff. Equally, theres no bums on tables and that initial communication stand off that occurs so often between people from distinctly different backgrounds just doesn't exist :-) its also real cool having on tap access to Te Reo and information about Tikanga.
    I have to say I love it eh, I love where I work because of the different culture and being white (this is gonna sound pretty dumb) I dont get included as a race often. Usually theres white, then there are people who have a racial identity so its actually pretty cool playing on an even field and being included in that way?
    Cool blog :-)